waiting for change

waiting
for the coffeepot to finish
waiting
for the toast to pop
for my bowel to move
for death to do its business
waiting
for the last buffalo to roll
a milky eye to the dying sun
waiting
to sneeze
“hey did you hear about those Swedish
scientists that grew meat in a lab?”

synth-burgers at congress cookout waiting
for the cattle to die
for first-party processed food direct
to supermarket from laboratory stockroom
waiting for my extra slice of facon bacon
sausage on the side
waiting on the CDN Govt. to send my disability cheque
so i can send it back in paid bills
waiting for my mail to be returned, or
to be delivered to the wrong address
waiting on the receptionist to order lunch, so
i can pay rent 15 days late, again
waiting for life’s ultimate meaning

waiting for Armageddon?
waiting for christ to indoctrinate me
“why was i never a good son?”
standing in a corner, nose to the wall
waiting for punishment to cure my inquisitive mind
waiting for Dad to finish ranting,
for Mom to finish blaming him, waiting
for the next hit to come from drug-savvy teenage baggie
o’ green escape
waiting to drop out junior high, Grade9
commit to non-commitalism
waiting for my shrink
to acquit my incredulity w/ prescription papers
waiting for Time to make me a Man

waiting for Adult life
waiting in dirty underwear for the laundry to finish

© Emerys Watchel, 2017 All rights reserved.

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Patterns

i hate people
there
i said it, and i know
it’s easy to hate
the easiest thing in the world,
maybe.
it doesn’t challenge me
to sympathize, understand or
compromise on behalf of another
but the truth is
i do that anyway
that’s how my mind works
i can’t turn it off
i observe
empathize, attempt to understand
i even accept that
others problem-solve differently
but the result is the same:
hate.

i saw a woman drag her crying son
by the pant leg
through the food court at the Mall
(a toddler) knowing that all observers present
were staring at her
she then loudly (so we could hear)
blamed him for her actions
“i wouldn’t need to do this if you didn’t…”
etcetera
as if to explain her actions to strangers
we just stared
half-expecting she would be aware that we
were observing an anomaly, and stop
she dragged him all the way to the door
embarrassing him, exonerating herself

i read this study about something called
The Flehmen Response
which typically describes mammalian behaviours
regarding pheromone detection patterns
for example, Horses perform an action
with their upper-lip
lifting it up over the teeth
exposing their gum-line
all Horses do this. it’s called a
Flehmen Response because once the action
has begun the Horse completes the sequence
every time. The doctors involved in the initial
study did tests with female Orb Spiders
they noticed a common pattern when they
secure an egg-sac to a web
all of them perform the same pattern
to completion. interrupting the pattern
by removing the egg-sac did not
interrupt the sequence. Observing the woman at the Mall
did not interrupt her pattern
she was, once committed to the sequence,
unconsciously bound to complete the pattern.
i say unconsciously because
were she aware of her actions
she would have considered them instead of
explaining them.
Sociologists have been observing
patterned human behaviours for a long time
but i doubt they have linked these patterns
to mammalian Flehmen responses
even though they admit
Humans are Social Animals.

so, while i observe and consider
(in the case of the woman)
that she may not know why she’s compelled
to complete patterned behaviour once initiated
she still does it
while not considering it herself

could you imagine trying to explain
to a person that their actions
may be motivated by exterior instigators,
or triggers,
and are not entirely their own choices
after
they have committed to a sequence?

hating people is easier
it’s how i sleep at night
and btw
age does not grant one immediate respect
when in most cases
societies Elders are less equipped to handle social
patterns than the tactile minds of societal youth
with age comes engendered patterned behaviour
“you can’t teach an Old Dog blah, blah, blah”
they say that
but rarely understand it

if you’ve read this to the bottom, i’m
sure you’ll understand the ironic contradiction

,anyway i’ll leave that dissection for another time.

© Emerys Watchel, 2017 All rights reserved.

the Truth, and the Lie

boys dream themselves men
in Cupid’s army
employing traps to snare
a virgin trophy

as supplicant, she surrenders
to these chains
and offers up her chasteness
for his name

as mother, she gathers her young
and keeps them bathed
odiferously perfumed
and keenly shaped

to be observant of adulthood
whilst they play
at games of understanding
unshaped clay

in square yards that offer repose
and privacy
from the Devil they presume wanders
in the street

while yet they wish to be
desire’s blade
to stab their captive lovers
to their graves

entreating hunters to their
ribald ire
singing harpstrung elegies
before the fire

© Emerys Watchel, 2017 All rights reserved.

and I Sold my Soul to the Company Store

it’s early
i’m awake and i need COFFEE
but i’m out of Milk
i love the way that they design
those jugs and cartons
such that you will have to go out
in a week to get more
and once that caffeine has its hooks in you
you can’t Not go out
you Need More & they sell it by the cup too
at those sugar dispensaries
who decided to mash Coffee into The Bakery?
coffee doesn’t go well with Noodle
you can’t mash it into an Italian Restaurant
it goes best with finger food
but not Meat Kebabs, no
Coffee and Donut, Coffee and Donut
when i think about that
i think about the Dept. of Transportation
all those longhaul trucks
all those sticky fingers wiped on
all those road maps
sitting and shitting, sitting and shitting
until one day a man wakes up w/ fatty liver disease
why shld that be, when he was only doing
what the Company
told him?

© Emerys Watchel, 2017 All rights reserved.

 

we the Dependant Masses

New York
the City that Never Sleeps
a slogan inviting partygoers
everyplace is like that now
once upon a time
bars and clubs wld close
businessmen wld go home
for dinner the wife cooked
the telephone wasn’t answered after 10 pm
and the day wld end
sometime around 1920 the Metropolis
bloomed
a new clientele required late-nite venues
the Night Club was born
to keep the party going
the fact that they still exist
is evidence that the party
hasn’t
stopped

just imagine nearly a hundred years
of cash registers ringing
to the tune
of dollars $, $, $, $, $
the young millennials today
blame past generations for squandering
what was good and golden
this is not true
they were convinced of something different
back then
they were told the lights would never go out
the good times were here to stay
that naivety cld be seen in their singing,
dancing, it was in the music of the time
it was The Corporations that took what was Good
and made it gross

they decided (probably around 1970) that
the lights must stay on
the party will never stop
the best things in life are free
keep the people happy, blind, ignorant
keep them spending money
encourage them to dispense their incomes
the music became faster, louder, meaningless
drugs and sex and drugs and sex
the motif of the era
and it’s only getting worse
now we have the internet, online anonymity
cruelty to others is humorous, glib
communities are dead, and dying
disposable incomes remain
they have made slaves of us all
and we let them

they The Corporations
we The Dependant Masses

weep for the past
don’t look back in anger

© Emerys Watchel, 2017 All rights reserved.

A seemingly disjointed collection

I
take exception
with the way people commonly
use the word
“disillusion”

to “stand in disillusion”
stark, aware, horrified
as if to want the Wool
pulled back over the eyes
to want the illusion
returned
the false thing
the comfortable lie
disillusion ought to be good
rather than a negative
is that ironic?

my physical therapist
(would that i had one) ,or
whomever it is that’s invested
in motivating healthy perspective
would probably say
my T-Cell production is down
or that my endocrine system
is not producing the proper amount of
hormones or chemicals
or that i’m not engaging my primitive
functions, fear, fight or flight, etc.
because i avoid scenarios
that might require them
ergo: lack of endorphins =
increased depression

maybe it’s just me
but there has to be something wrong
when your Counsellor
won’t return your calls
a stranger that does Non Profit care providing
won’t do that
anymore
i could understand if she were getting paid

who was it that said
something about
“let the light in”, or

“letting in the light” (?)
it was probably Tennyson
that fucker

that smug motherfucker
what about when a light goes out?
when the magician dies
and leaves behind an assortment of
puzzling and confused apparatus
dies
poof, a light goes out
extinguished before the secret
could be taught
like Archimedes assassinated by a Roman
soldier sent to capture him
an instrumental and important man
slain by an idiot
last words “Noli turbare circulos meos!”,
“Do not disturb my circles!”
oh, the lost mysterious knowledge!

sad to think it possible
that our last
great
human achievement
was Greek Geometry
those simple rudimentary shapes
Euclid, another wizard of a man
completely re-shaped
civilized material design
& upon this foundation
we have complexified modern society
into the ruin it is
today
beginning 2300 years ago
is that right,
or am i just speaking numbers?

2012
Killing them Softly
Box Office 37.9 Million USD
in the final sequence Brad Pitt’s character
Jackie Cogan states that America is a Business
what a cop-out
the final refuge of a defeated people
gimme’ my money, i’m not paid to care
Who will the next President be,
is it possible to do worse
than we have
to gold medal finish the loser award?
maybe we should elect Larry
the Cable Guy,
Foxworthy could VP! “Git’er Duun”
the New Corporate Slogan for business America
Git’er Duun bumperstickers in red, white, and blue
with “You might be a Redneck”

Jim Carrey said something about
tetrahedrons
the other day, which i took to mean
the trianguloid construct reflection
of self, identity self, and actual self
floating in a wash of exterior selves
reflecting impersonations of being
we are not actually here
but ideas of self
animating meat-beings
called self
and that is not gibberish, but a key
to a locked room
might it have helped the lone gunman
in Las Vegas?
what if he knew and understood that death waits for
us all
is that what he was acting out?
that final cosmic constant
sensationalized by propaganda News
in a selfish bid for dollars by viewership?
is that what we amount to
a value system
a conflict of superficialities?

“a body in motion…”
it all comes back to that
Newtonian symmetry
“we are what we eat”
i am the result of my choices
mental condition is symptom of self awareness

“all the world’s a stage”
fucking Shakespeare

&
it was Leonard Cohen btw.
“there is a crack in everything,
that’s how the light gets in.”

© Emerys Watchel, 2017 All rights reserved.