The Calculation of Self-Attenuation

waking up
returning to cognizance
staged through phases
floating
surface bound, from
the depths of slumber

time of day
as of yet: unknown
eyelids open to
take in
external reference data, i.e.
light level,
muscular reflex, alertness,
compared against last known
data check
shit, it must be three a.m.

“And all of this happens
in a matter of seconds,
and I am a bright bulb
that I have invented.”

already ambling
down hallway, corridor,
trying to find
myself
feet swung in tandem
off bedside to floor, toes curl
at the touch, or are they steadying
to press against gravity?

filament blew
at electrical surge from
light switch
motor function misfires: attempting
ninety degree turn in near-zero
visibility conditions,
shoulder: likely bruised
from bathroom door jam
I guess I won’t be checking my
stubble this morning

back to hallway, to kitchen,
find a clock appliance
as the alien glow
of digital screens blear dimly
against the antibacterial white
electronic hum
it’s not quite two forty-five, yet

dry mouth
peels open to taste
dead air, hot breath,
tongue
moves as mind recalls
surface memory: water,
deepens to clear blue
rehydration
a fridge door and a plastic bottle top
away

one foot moves in front
as the other adjusts in turn
to keep balance, or
am I not a consciousness,
aware, and thus
animating
this fleshy sponge
containment vessel of my
person?
head tilts back, jaw up, as
water trickles down throat
eyes close
imbibe refreshment
what is a third-eye stairwell
to enlightenment, really?

the imagination of self,
swathed in golden opulence,
burning
in the dark eddies of
bleak
here and now
eyes open
fuck,
power out
I’ll have to check the breaker
in the
basement

“You’ll look back and know that
I shine for your sight,
as I see your smile
a billion miles into the night.”

…yet, I descend.

Addendum by the Author:

feng shui
ˈfəNG ˈSHwē,-SHwā/
noun
(in Chinese thought) a system of laws considered to govern spatial
arrangement and orientation in relation to the flow of energy.

© Emerys Watchel, 2015 All rights reserved.

Advertisements

One thought on “The Calculation of Self-Attenuation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s