Planar Non-existence

thought bubbles spherical
pockets of chaos incomplete
holes cluster in random collective
dissolving or being absorbed into
complexity or nothing
as dark whorls in the river
of memory

first weekend of September, 2015
it is the middle of the night and
I am experiencing a dizzying concoction
of sleep deprivation
mixed with non-prescription
gate keys

several minutes ago:
powered down every electronic
appliance. uncertain if the ringing
in my ears is tinnitus, or
robotic, super-future drones
inspecting individual larvae capsules
for irregularities. vibrating
a machined gibberish data-collection language
from a parallel matrix on the other side
of the wall-jack

moments ago:
attempting to strengthen inner-focus
through meditative harmony
concentrating on the immediate now.
sat on bedroom floor of
chicken-coop apartment inches away from,
and staring, wide-eyed, into the dark room
on the other side of a mirror
beginning to feel self dissolve

convinced that I am not actually here.
that I am a projection of self-conception
plugged cerebrally into an inconceivable device
that feeds me stimulus information based
on illusory activity. decided instead
that magic is real, and
that I’ve dreamt myself into being

frightened at the implication that
I am singularly responsible for
maintaining optimal embodiment, despite
the growing counterintuition
self-manifestation in reverse:
to imagine self beyond the fringe
of reality
thus entering planar non-existence

now, swimming backwards through the fear
wandering the halls of inner-dungeons
seeking the ultimate unanswerable question
in the ever-closing spatial void
between the cogwheels of time

© Emerys Watchel, 2015 All rights reserved.


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