On the path to self improvement

I should eat more vegetables,
I tell myself, and I
do. I get serious about it
for a while
capsicums, celery hearts, quinoa
my vegetable head is
up to date on the latest
health smart choices,
then I treat myself
to a vice, fast food burger
greasy fries
and I’m back
on the fat track
with flippancy

I should drink more wine,
I tell myself. A glass a day
and I do. I get serious about
sauvignon, merlot, and cabernet
for a while
rows of empty bottles
fill the space atop my
kitchen cupboards
yet it’s expensive
and I lapse
for an excess of
poverty

I tell myself
more tea, less coffee,
and I do
for a while. I get serious about
Japanese green, black, and
Lady Grey, imports, and
the Eastern histories
of tea trade
then I treat myself
another vice,
dark roast with a shot of
espresso topped with
whipped cream and
chocolate drizzle, then
I’m back
on the sugar lane
with a cavity smile

The one thing
I’ve been good about
keeping from, is
nicotine
I consider it a
personal victory
to walk in to any
of those twenty four hour
quickie convenience outlets,
and walk out
without buying cigarettes
but I’ll smoke marijuana
any chance I get, and
I tell myself
that life is better lived
than read about
in books, and
some things, even bad things
are better learned
than admired
at a distance.

I am weak
and flabby, but
I love
myself
to death.

© Emerys Watchel, 2014 All rights reserved.

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