Fear, and other smells

normally
I do not speak the words
out loud

inside my head
I work
the riddle out

here
daft, alarmed,
reborn

I hear my soulsong
ear
mouth,
warm

mind is like a string
attached
to a sailing kite
in
the oceansky

a Whale i am
a whale, am I?

fell
without a scratch
squeezed gracefully
through
the interlocking gears

clockwork
that would bar my path

though,
yet at last

pierce the womb
float down inside
and
find in this
:a Hell most beautiful

the infant Me
coos at a carousel
the mindknot moves
without
a doubt

I am
un-well

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.

Advertisements

Training Neural Pathways

on Tuesday
the bldg. Super changed
the shower faucets

which now turn
left on
right off,
for both taps
instead of inverted
toward the middle
as I was
accustomed to

a memory problem
I have to relearn the bathtub

left hand on
right hand off

tried it at the kitchen stove
turning knobs,
lifting pots

left acquire, right return

vacuum more tricky
,however I
am becoming quite dexterous

though mostly, I assume,
from climbing the
walls

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.

Epstein Barr Baby

can’t feel
spine glowing
numb

shift
skeletal hip
walk insectman
in
geometric
shoes

heartburn throat sweating
red flower
mind letters

lock the door twice
exorcise
voice devils

the word I choose
will
hurt to use

convinced, He was
that the walls had moved
out with the Sun

to warm the Moon
‘s melancholy face

play with me Dumb-Heroic
nuiscance
become
nervous laughter
Me
talk much louder

think on your feet
unicycle
juggling geese
smash sounds
together

…finally freed

let’s fuck
and
fight the hatedeath, and angry
insistant
demanding

smashing the argument
cutlery, plate, pan
holes
in the drywall

lunatic fornicating
craven smiles in the dark
summer afternoon
sweet sipping

lemonade
by
the patio ferns
enjoying
the
transient shade
slowly rolling
West whisper thin apologies
for behaving

a Fool

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.

This is

the last hit
bowl packed
the pipe sings Her
heavy-belly song
as
she sags
to candlelit thrombol
deep
ruddy notes

Soon, my lips
says Mr. Moustache, soon
blackened
by the sour resin drip

teeth and eye, forehead
proclamations of Doom
riding insect wings
yellow breath
screaming animal insults
at the camera tele
-vising
Freak Show
Ringling Brothers Reality
madness
and I have tickets!

if only I
light this rocket and
blast-off
out my head up
through floors above
ceiling
shingle
starry sky beyond
and
leave this tiny blue speck
to explore
familiar shadows

for now I sit
waiting for Light to receive
my nakedness

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.

Jael

my horns have begun to grow,
Enlil, though
they are not as I would have
imagined them to be
my face is crowned
with cactus-like needles

my forehead
a forest of antennae
between my temples

I preen upon
a mountain beneath
braying to
the blushing moon
above

whilst meditating, I
sit with head raised skyward
so as to extend
my conscious cable
to the electric atmosphere
of your body, as
my blooming horns
sprout filamnt fans

I am
a sensory node
rooted
to the earth
below
your great sweeping arms
the four winds
whistling through my gables
pollen on
your breath
the seasons;
your many harvests

your heart
the dual properties of water
both healing, and destroying

the very heavens
a deluge
for your employ

Lord Enlil, God of all that flies
with this vessel I thee honor

your servant
Jael

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.

Walking at 3 a.m.

1.
fussing with myself
clothes, hair
those inner arguments
“looks good enough,
I’ve looked better.”
belt straight
smell shirt, shrug
an estimable laundry day
this week
mental notes
leering at self
nose length from mirror
over sink
check skin
eyes
make a silly face
it’s all a joke
“shut up, you’re beautiful.”

at the door
it’s raining, more drizzling
than raining
not that I mind problematic
idiosyncracies
will have been for nothing
should the weather turn

I stood
on balcony
straightening jacket buttons
in boots, scarf
grimacing
at the lot of it

,decided it best
to proceed;
carefully
if I must

avoid galloping strides, should
ardent gust bemuse
fragile self-opinion

2.
the short road
fell between heavy shrouds
of shadow
with a piercing lamp-
light at its far end.

boulevards ran thick with trees
that canopied the whole
with fat spring-grown green
“seems sturdy enough.”

the raindrops
while heavier; fall
with a greater spread between

as I imagine the drizzle collected
in faunal pools and rivulets
along leaf veins and spines
slaloming
through
as gravity will allow

until the wind gets up
and at it
a violent flurry
assailing
lonely foot traveller
on the muddy track below

hood raised
for what little good allow,
as drenched as I
now am.
frustrated mess

3.
at long last
turn
towards the glare of
convenience outlet
24 hour flourescent lights
fall dim on wet
yellow parking lot
gasoline
puddles

green dumpster concealed
behind midnight roof shadow
back alley
litter
“the whole wretch of it,
seethes..”

neon walk lamp signals
solitary splatter echo
down vacant
dead avenues
quiet
humming
machinery

4.
rectangle beam splits
open from center
to the sides
hot glare

bright
product stocked shelves
commercial adverts on
the P.A.
antibacterial
smell of scrubbed corner filth

noticing immediately
the female employee
wearing franchise logo
smock/ visor
blissfully
unaware

the thin cord
of her headphones

the familiar radio bump
and rhythm
hips, move spine
back

shock of white hair
curl loose ponytail tied
angelic peroxide
nymph
dancing with broom
sings me a slow
pacing
“hello”

a high/low
HEL-lo
long and low, pink tongue
green eyes
glow of detached
appetite for casual sex

panties down in the bathroom stall
control fetish
she wants me
to smell it on her.
why else,
the charade of dying?

why else the practice
learning how to please
soulful
adapting to survival

re-initiating manifest conflict
to learn
again
until memory
irreparably penetrated?

returned a gesture
recognition, I
half-turned a nod
grim smile
moving toward the cooler
surveying
the sandwich counter
to my left.

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.