Revenue Canada Credit Scam

am writing this unedited
noon today
phonecall received
automated message
female robot voice “blah,
blah, blah. something about
how I supposedly am being
prosecuted for not filing
tax return. Jennifer Gomez.”
I *69’d the number was
1 613 656 6313
I called BULLSHIT
CANADA REVENUE AGENCY DOES NOT ISSUE
ARREST WARRANTS IN THIS COUNTRY
I said
bitch hung up on me
I called back
“this is Emerys Watchel? 1306 *** ****?
yes, you have caller ID. I’m not impressed.
she cried wolf
“I am sending the RCMP to
arrest you”
what’s my crime? I asked
“for not filing your taxes!”
how much money do you scam out of people?
hung up again
I called back
“hello this is Rev. Canada
how may I help you?”
please don’t hang up on me. I’m
just trying to understand.
“understand what?”
how did you get my number?
“fuck you, you motherfucker!”
hung up again
redial
does your dick even work, or
do you need pills to getoff?
redial
how do you have an Ottawa area code?
redial
you’re going to hang up on me again,
aren’t you?
redial
you’ve never had a Canadian ass whooping, have you?
“fuck you mother bitch!”
awe, c’mon man. I’m the most interesting
call you’ve had today.
redial
“curses at me in foreign language”
hangs up.

I called Revenue Canada’s toll free number
“they are using the internet.”
he kindly told me.
apparently
even tax agents have had these
phonecalls.

last year
a Paul Ivory
1 844 337 8111
(now disconnected)
told me that I have a warrant out
for my arrest
I dialed the local courthouse
and asked if I have a pending
court appearance
they said
No.

I encourage all of you
to phone and harass these
scam artists
directly.
the number is: 1 613 656 6313

I feel sorry for the hard working Canadians,
the trusting good hearted people
the elderly that have been bilked of their savings
by these spineless overseas foreigners

if I could put foot to ass in person
I would.

“Fuck me? Fuck me? You motherfucker! Fuck my mother,
that’s what you fuckin’ tell me? huh,
you motherfucker, you!
~ Tommy DeVito, Goodfellas

© Emerys Watchel, 2016 All rights reserved.

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2 thoughts on “Revenue Canada Credit Scam

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